Monday, February 26, 2007

Just in time for Lent

Here comes a movie "debunking" the Resurrection. I guess they were so excited, they couldn't hold out until Holy Week to release it.

It sounds like this is yet another attempt to make a "story" out of old news, dating from 1980, when a construction crew supposedly found the tomb of Jesus, with his mother Mary, his wife (of course) Mary Magdalene, and their son, Judah. There was a big furor over the "James" tomb a year or so ago, until it was proved to be a forgery. It seems it came from this same collection, but the fact that one tomb was a phony hasn't dampened enthusiasm for the others one bit. The stupidest part of the article is this paragraph:
The secret, of course, is their son, Judah. If Jesus and Mary Magdalene did have a child, they may have hidden his existence as he would have been a target of Roman persecution. After all, the family had not fared well: John the Baptist, Jesus' cousin, was beheaded, his brother James was stoned to death and his friend and founder of the church, Simon Peter, was crucified head down, some say.
Of course, the source for all those facts is the Bible and Christian tradition, which also claim that Jesus rose from the dead and ascended into Heaven. But when it comes to THAT part of the story, suddenly the text is a pack of lies.

This has become an annual ritual, it seems to me - every Easter and Lent we're treated to "experts" claiming that the whole thing is a fairytale. I guess we're not unique in this treatment, though. There are places on earth where it's bigtime entertainment to claim that Jews never lived in Jerusalem, there never was a Temple, and the Holocaust never occurred - it's just that those places are crackpot sewers full of people who can't live in reality.


Blogger Ellie M said...

Hmmm, let's see: how many are we up to now? There's the Passover Plot (Jesus drugged himself to seem dead and then sneaked out of his tomb). There's Holy Blood & the Holy Grail (Jesus married Mary M. and they had a daughter and started this totally cool secret dynasty in France). There's Da Vinci Code, a novel that purports to be based on fact (basically, central thesis of HB & HG plus a side order of the Forbidden Sacred Feminine). There's our very own ex-Rev Tom Harpur earnestly arguing that Jesus never existed (he's just an adaptation of a pagan myth). And now the Guy That Made The Big Boat Movie has glommed onto the tomb hoax (Jesus married Mary M. and they had a son, and their bodies have been found in Jerusalem).

Of course, that thesis kinda contradicts Tommy's contention that there never WAS any Jesus, and there seems to be some confusion among the Mary M. crowd about where she ended up. Can't these people just settle on ONE story? Look at the 9/11 conspiracy guys: at least they decided early on what fuitcake "theory" they were going to go with. That's organization!

Come on, Christianity-haters: get your act together if you want to be taken seriously. Or better still, invent a new theory about how Mohammed was really a schizophrenic lesbian, and preach it in the streets of Saudi Arabia next time the Hajj is on. Sure it'd be hazardous to your health, but you love saying how totally brave and subversive you are. What an excellent chance for you to prove it...

4:10 pm  
Blogger Dr. Mabuse said...

Whoever are the Bad Guys in this scenario (the Church, or some of Jesus' more excitable followers) they must have been real incompetents. Imagine trying to flog a fake religion based on a guy who died and rose again, and not only is his real body left lying around, it's NEATLY LABELLED for debunkers to find! Reminds me of 'Young Frankenstein', where Frederick finds his grandfather's hidden study, and right in the middle of the desk is a big book entitled "HOW I DID IT".

Actually, it's a pity Mel Brooks already made that movie, because he could have done a grand version of the Da Vinci Code:

Chris Johnson, Anglican Investigator: So it was you all the time!

Mary Magdalene: Yes!

CJ: Then you and Jesus...

Mary Magdalene: Yes! Say it! Say it! He was MY BOYFRIEND!!!!

2:14 PM

5:16 pm  
Blogger Nicholodeon said...

Holy Resurrection, Batman! Does this mean all the televangelists have been lieing to me all these years?

By Saint Mary Magdalene, Robin, I don't know...It seems to me if the Deity were really concerned He would have left no doubt about the tombs uncovered by Hollywood.

Whew, Batman! The Gospels tell me all I need to know. And Holy Mother Church has transmitted to me all that I require for my soul's salvation!

Right, Robin...or should that be Round, Robin?! Thanks be to the good Doc for drawing my attention to this so called tomb of Jesus.

Just as long as Jesus doesn't land in Salt Lake City when he returns to judge the quick and the dead, I shall be content to live in my Batcave catacomb!

11:46 am  
Blogger Ellie M said...

There's no way this could have any real impact on the church, because if you say, "Jesus Christ was just an ordinary guy who died," the conservatives KNOW it's not true, and the liberals ALREADY believe that!

11:10 am  

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