Monday, January 01, 2007

Serious satire

It's one thing for a scruffy little blogger to make fun of the Anglican Church, but when Anglican stupidity reaches the notice of the great Mark Steyn, it's game over.

Hitting Bottom is brilliantly funny, and if you have to register to read it, go and do it. It's worth the trouble just to be able to read Steyn. He deals with that article from a few months ago in the Niagara Anglican by Canon Tim Smart, which so memorably lauded the joys of pooping: "Next to having sex, a good bowel movement rates pretty high on most people's scale of things that satisfy. In fact, as you grow older, a good poop can be as rewarding as a good romp under the covers. You know the relief that comes after having been frustrated for so many days to finally stand proudly before your accomplishment floating in the toilet bowl and congratulate yourself on a job well done." As Steyn says,
Er, well, even if we can't all enjoy that sense of accomplishment every day of the week, evidently Canon Smart's satisfaction at completing his article and standing proudly before it watching it float across page six of The Niagara Anglican is a pretty close approximation of thereof.
There's more:
"Did Jesus have sex? Again, like crapping, the gospels are silent on the subject of Jesus' sex life." But hey, why let that stop you? Canon Smart's "personal opinion" is that "maybe later in life, as popular teacher and preacher, he did have sex with some of his women admirers. But I'm just guessing, basing my theory not on anything biblical or scholarly, but on what I know about guys."

I would wager Canon Smart knows as little about "guys" as he does about "anything biblical or scholarly". What does he mean by "women admirers"? That Christ was some sort of Clintonian lounge act taking advantage of the more nubile groupies?
And of course, the humour all builds to a very sharp point:
There are those throughout the West who sense the emptiness of contemporary secularist individualism, seek something bigger, and turn to Buddhism, environmentalism and, of course, Islam. But why would such people choose a faith exemplified by the likes of the present Anglican leadership? A faith that does no more than license your appetites and provide a little pseudo-spiritual cover for modish pathologies.
I (really) couldn't have said it better myself.


Blogger Kasia said...

Quite so. It's rather reminiscent of my sister's e-mail to KJS after her infamous interview: out of our five immediate family members, one left the Episcopal Church because she could get the same 'fight the power' leftism without all the hierarchy and pomp from the Unitarians; two left because the Episcopal Church did not impress upon them that there was really any reason to get out of bed on a Sunday morning; and two left to find a more orthodox vision of Christianity. I find it is at least as satisfactory an explanation for the ECUSA's demographic trends than that Episcopals are simply too well-educated to overbreed like those ignorant Catholics and Mormons...

7:27 pm  
Blogger Kasia said...

Oh, my. I just read the whole thing. I'm going to have to get Steyn's book...

10:03 pm  
Blogger Dr. Mabuse said...

Isn't he wonderful? He's one of the best writers out there. And I think he should have won Little Green Footballs' Anti-Idiotarian of the Year Award, though John Bolton is a good man. But Steyn is in a class by himself.

10:08 pm  
Blogger Ellie M said...

I too am a huge admirer of Steyn's. And to that nice Aussie man who sent him Canon Smart's malodorous piece of bilge: thankyouthankyouthankyou! I nearly blew a gasket when I read that in the Niagara Anglican months back. THEN I saw that it was a reprint. THEN I saw that it was by a canon and lay educator.

And people wonder what's wrong with Anglicanism these days?

I fired off a scathing letter to the editor, which of course they did not print. Now the ill-named Smart's putresent prose has fallen into the hands of the matchless Steyn, who makes short work of it and him. Awesome -- totally awesome!

11:39 pm  
Blogger Min O'Pause said...

Hmm, yet another frothing at the mouth post concerning bowel movements and sex...very interesting.

Yeah, Mark is very funny indeed. He sounds like some of the snake handling religious folk here in Georgia.

I don't agree with his politics, but he is a very adroit writer.


1:02 pm  
Blogger Kasia said...

Apparently Min missed that the bowel movements and sex were the product of a liberal Anglican lay educator's imagination, not yours.

2:54 pm  

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