Wednesday, July 19, 2006

TEC - It's the real thing!

The CEO Bishop Swing of California finally gets back from his 5-martini lunch, and what does he find? Depravity and debauchery! Sin and wickedness! Unauthorized reading of Prayer Books on company timeand trademark infringement!

In twenty-seven years of writing to you, I have spent little or no time covering breakaway groups in the Bay Area which use our prayer book and hymnals, which advertise in the yellow pages under our name, but which have no legitimate standing on the NYSE in the Episcopal Church or the Anglican Communion. My conviction has been that we as an historic people of God are on mission. So let’s be about that mission; let’s not devote energy to the folks who have set up shop nearby and who trade off our good name.

The Episcopal Church, Inc. (Nasdaq:TEC), a leading manufacturer of flash-based liturgy and custom and standard moral solutions, today announced that it has filed suit in California Superior Court against Reasserters, Inc. (Nasdaq:BAD). Trade libel, libel per se, interference with business opportunities, violation of the California Unfair Competition Act, and violation of the California Unfair Trade Practices Act are the causes of action listed in the complaint.

The old saying goes like this: “The dogs bark and bark, but the wagons moved on.” So I’ve tried to keep us moving ahead on the mission of Jesus Christ, not bogged down in intramural squabbles.

I’m a busy man, after all – the Holy Spirit is cranking out commandments like a Krispy Kreme franchise on opening day, and you know how fast those things go stale once they cool off, so I’m going to make this quick.

Nevertheless I want to share just a little sampling of my experience of these folks with you. Perhaps this might be of help to you in the future as you discern what the words “Episcopal”® and “Anglican”© mean when you drive by church signs.

…These are people whom I love individually

though I can’t actually name or describe any individuals to you, or give you a quote from any particular person, since they are really just faceless cogs in a vast corporate menace engaged in a hostile takeover.

but who bought into Senator Joseph McCarthy, Anita Bryant, etc., and the hunt for red October and pink conspiracies around every corner...Their constituency has few people of color, no women priests, and old 1928 prayer books,

so they’re not even ISO 2000 certified!

and the money pours in from Pittsburgh and Texas with the intent to bring an end to the Episcopal Church.

And just wait until we get that amendment to the RICO Statute! In addition to “any act or threat involving murder, kidnapping, gambling, arson, robbery, bribery, extortion, dealing in obscene matter, or dealing in a controlled substance or listed chemical (as defined in section 102 of the Controlled Substances Act)”, we’re going to get “praying” added to the definition of “racketeering activity”.

There is a little church a few blocks from our home that calls itself an Anglican church. Obviously it is not recognized by the Archbishop of Canterbury® and has no more right to be called Anglican™ than Mary’s pocketbook has the right to be called Prada.

Or this watch I bought on my last trip to Times Square to be called Rolex.

But there it is in all of its counterfeit splendor. It takes advantage of our “noble army of martyrs” who gave their lives quietly translating manuscripts or fighting against injustices or facing the political dynamics of their day or praying us through ordeals.

After all, I am not sent but to the lost sheep of the house of Nasdaq.

The counterfeiters freeze-dry us in time, usually 1954, then thaw out our labors on Sundays. In their boutique fake Anglican churches, devoid of the mess of history or the blood of Incarnation, they show antiseptic reruns of us.

Without even paying us residuals!

As a tee shirt in the Bahamas says, “Nobody move, nobody get hurt."

And that peddler didn’t even have a valid vendor’s license to sell that shirt, either. I had him closed down before the end of the day.

A couple of churches in the Bay Area don’t even bother to switch labels. They use our prayer book and hymnal, sometimes even invite one of our clergy to officiate, and run an Episcopal-type church without carrying the responsibility of commitment to a larger vision of the Body of Christ. They chose neutral titles for themselves such as the Church on the Hill or in the Forest.

And we're going to sue them for having steeples and stained glass windows, too. WE own all the rights to those.

These are like couples who live together but don’t want the accountability of a marriage commitment. No ties. No big picture. Just cul de sac religion. Or rather just enough ties to figure out how to usurp the work of others and skim off enough cream to serve a rich local liturgical dish to unsuspecting attendees. A parody by parasites.

When everyone should be eating the same good, nourishing gruel that we've always supplied to the workhouses.


Every time there is trauma in the Episcopal Church (Plc), there is an effort by some of the counterfeiters and the Communist fixators to join forces but nothing – nothing – ever comes of it.

Because we’ve got the best consigliere family money can buy.

Those who cannot tolerate the catholic, universal nature of the Church®, with the strain of holding everything and everyone together, certainly cannot live with the idiosyncrasies of each other. Once a church group learns to say, “I don’t need you all any more,” then they are on the road to exponential isolation.

And unfair market share.

The opposite of Catholicism©. What truly is worth striving for is to make the Church® more catholic©, or more catholic© than it was when we inherited it. Paul inherited a one-race Church. When he died, the Church was multiracial. There is the model. Move outward; embrace more of the human predicament in the Name of Jesus Christ (pat. pending).

No one has cornered the market on being catholic™. No one has ever seen the catholic nature of the Church™ in toto. It exists only in the mind of God®. We do see miniatures of it occasionally, and we lurch toward it blindly in our deepest yearnings (that's why we removed all those railings from the front of the church). The Roman Catholics (Plc, Ltd. Inc.) do not exhaust the catholic nature of the Church, nor do the Orthodox or the Protestants. We all carry its seed in our fragmented groupings. Truly catholic means all of the above and more. Lots more, as the Holy Spirit™ leads us into the Truth of the One.

Therefore, as a bishop I spend most of my time strengthening and expanding the Church’s infrastructure and institutions so that we can make the long, hard pilgrimage toward the catholicism that Christ intends for us, the wholeness He holds in His heart. All of it is important – the seminaries, the social services, the retreat centers, the congregations, the worship, the ever-expanding ethnic constituencies.

TEC – innovation, research - building the future, today!

We must be on our way toward a catholic destiny where God is all in all. We aren’t communists or counterfeiters. We are the real thing, catholic Episcopalians who pray that the Holy Spirit will lead us ever deeper, ever deeper into the full revelation of the Body of Christ.

Now, everyone! “I’d like to teach the world to sing, In perfect harmoneeeee…”


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