Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Slasher brilliance

It's summer, so the horror films are coming on apace. I never actually went to see any of the famous slasher films when I was young, but I can't help noticing that they're being made all over again, and without, it seems, any particular new twist or insight. Just better special effects.

Despite not seeing the Jason, Scream, Nightmare on Elm Street movies, I've read about them, and learned the basic premise: unstoppable monster with vaguely supernatural powers comes back to kill unwary or terrified teens, especially sexually active ones. Death is the punishment for sex, they all seem to agree. One girl is left alive at the end.

Just in time for the movies, here is an utterly brilliant script for the earliest slasher story of them all, written by Shakespeare. I especially liked the 2-line introductions of all the hapless victims:

Exit Chorus; enter Moros & Hippolyta, Satyrus & Carnalia, Impudicus & Lascivia, Turpino & Bimbona.
.
Moros: Come, we must find the camp, and all prepare
For opening – then, frolic without care.
.
Hippolyta: Some passing chill brings goosebumps to my skin,
Some strange foreboding quivers up my spine...
.
Satyrus: From all such foolish fancies am I free;
I think of nought but coming revelry!
.
Carnalia: Aye, thinking on it warms my quickened heart;
In revelry I’ll play no modest part!
.
Impudicus: My thoughts turn to my fair Lascivia’s charms,
And what we'll find when in each other’s arms.
.
Lascivia: You are too froward, sir – think all you please:
You may find I am nothing but a tease.
.
Turpino: Here is much beer and wine – I shall drink deep
And pass the night in sotted swinish sleep.
.
Bimbona: So nothing shall we lack of what we need,
I have with me a casket of fine weed.


(Hat tip, not to mention swirling cape and low bow, to The Trousered Ape)

3 Comments:

Blogger Bob the Ape said...

Thank you very much, Dr. Mabuse - I am so glad that you enjoyed it.

7:27 am  
Blogger Bob the Ape said...

And - belatedly - thanks for adding Trousered Ape to your blogroll.

7:25 am  
Blogger Dr. Mabuse said...

My pleasure, Bob - I was delighted to discover your blog! And I look forward to many more enjoyable postings.

8:02 pm  

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