Saturday, June 06, 2009

Braxton's Lear - Cleanup on aisle E

A Mr. or Rev. Tom Downs has hocked a complaint on the floor of the HOB/D listserve.
I am so mad I could spit.
Oh God, not again. Well, everyone put on their raincoats and galoshes - the Episcopalians are spitting again, and we all know what that means: get ready for more flying moisture than a Blue Man Group performance.
Friends, don't you see that if Thew Forrester is not confirmed we (TEC) will have willingly entered the brave new world of assassination by internet? Having proved it can be done; it will be done again. Perhaps it will be your candidate next time.
This must be a trailer for that terrifying summer movie: "YOOPER MADNESS!" Watch as normally clean-cut, docile Episcopalians go insane after one glimpse of StandFirm! They criticize homilies! They quote the Prayer Book! They go berserk at their keyboards, typing faster and faster! They don't call it high-speed internet connection for nothing, you know! Watch out - this scourge is sweeping the nation. It could strike your candidate...or yours...or YOURS!!!"
From now on potential candidates will have to be vetted like Supreme Court nominees, that means we will find ourselves favoring people who never published a single potentially controversial thing nor had an innovative thought they shared with anybody. Can any of you guess how much it is costing our federal government in time and money right now to get the current Supreme Court nominee past Congress?
Yes, the Democratic nominee of a Democratic president, struggling to run the gauntlet of a Democratic House and Democratic Senate, with a Democratic majority on the Senate Judiciary Committee - how can a liberal in the Episcopal Church possibly be expected to survive a similar ordeal?
And those of you who wrote so seriously about Thew Forrester's faults and then spread your thinking far and wide, you clergy, especially you who are already safely bishops, how many of you would survive this sort of scrutiny should everything you ever wrote or spoke be examined by the faculties of VTS, EDS, and Trinity seminaries, with their demonstrably different and sometimes contradictory points of view? (never mind the host of bloggers who are so constantly hostile to TEC)
C'mon, as if you've never used a drop-down menu during a baptismal liturgy! Everyone does it, we all know it, you're just too scared to admit it. This is so unfair - it's just like the Clinton impeachment trial.
And you who read all that stuff, who let the innuendos and half-truths color your thinking, who let suspicion about a diocese that did things differently creep in, who jumped on the "band wagon" (It wouldn't be a standard propaganda tool if it didn't work, would it?), are you so sure you made up your own mind? Do you personally know the candidate that well?
Northern Michigan is a foreign country: they do things differently there. Now, if you'd NOT read "all that stuff", and never met the candidate, and just voted 'Yes', you'd never have been exposed to suspicion that you're a weak-minded catspaw who just follows the herd.
We don't have any more feet to shoot ourselves in. Why don't we just shoot ourselves in the head and get it over with?
These parliamentary rules are so complicated...are you looking for someone to second that motion?
Did I mention I was so mad I could spit?
Yes you did.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow...interesting timing of this post. Did Jackie email you yet?

8:35 am  
Blogger Dr. Mabuse said...

No, just saw it first at MCJ, and then at SF. Then the Louie Crew email was posted, and well, I'm not as young as I used to be, so I couldn't manage two Braxton's Lear's on the same day, so i opted for this one.

10:04 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lot's of emailing going on....keyboards are flying...

1:16 pm  
Blogger C. Andiron said...

are you so sure you made up your own mind? Do you personally know the candidate that well?



Northern Michigan is a foreign country: they do things differently there. Now, if you'd NOT read "all that stuff", and never met the candidate, and just voted 'Yes', you'd never have been exposed to suspicion that you're a weak-minded catspaw who just follows the herd.


That's the creepiest part. He doesn't really want people to be informed (as it turns out by Forrester's own writings), but poses as if he does. These people are morally blind. They are incapable of shame.

9:39 am  

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