Anyway, he's decided to play a game with the Mohammedans:
In an unofficial academic setting in Canada, a group of us were treated to the anti-American tirade of an Iranian post-doc who told us that "America is sh*t and everywhere Americans go they leave a trail of sh*t".Maybe Mrs. Schori can give us some advice on how to disconcert Mohammedans in this way.
I took great pleasure in his discomfort when I spoke up, defended America, and told him he should be grateful that we allowed him to study in our country, and that I hoped he would not be tardy in leaving once his studies were finished.
He was very nearly in shock and didn't say another word. He had cursed the Great Satan in public, and, lo and behold, a Canadian (!) had disagreed with him in no uncertain terms. It was clearly the first time during his stay in the Canada that his disgusting opinions had been challenged.
My new game is called "I Might Be A Jew". An exciting variant is "I might be an American". For the true enthusiast I would suggest "I might be an American Jew".
When meeting muzzies, lead them to believe that you might, in fact, be a Jew. It is really quite easy to do and in no way does it require an aggressive posture.
For instance, one can drop a few off-hand comments about one's most recent visit to Israel and how lovely the beaches are, or about one's close friend (or relative) who has a "Jewish-sounding" name. This last technique is easy for me because I have an "ambiguous" family name.
Part of the fun is coming up with new ways to make muzzies fear that they are in the presence of a Jew. My favorite gambit when being introduced to a muzzie is to wait until we are just about to shake hands and say, Shalom. The Shalom is best accompanied by a warm and friendly smile that asks, "you gotta a problem with that?".
Anyway, it seems to me a good idea, and so I've just ordered this handsome item, which will prove useful for the remaining 5 months of winter in Ottawa:
I also have a pin for my coat: the American flag, folded in the shape of a Stealth Bomber (it's a classic!). That'll do for now - I'll think of something else for when the snow finally melts.
UPDATE: For anyone who might be interested in obtaining the Israel scarf, here's the site to order from. It's a soccer scarf, you see, for fans of Israel's soccer team. But I think it will work great as a winter scarf. Mine hasn't arrived yet, but hopefully I'll have it by next week (shipping from the U.S.).