Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Braxton's Lear - Danger, Gene Robinson! Warning! Warning!

Gene Robinson has garnered a well-deserved Braxton's Lear for his 5-hanky blub to the House of Bishops on being told that he's the ONLY ONE not invited to Sheri's birthday party Lambeth.

Not since Dr. Zachary Smith skulked aboard the Jupiter 2 has there been so much pain (on the part of the performer, that is. That of the audience exceeds it by several magnitudes.)
I want to be clear than I am not here to whine. I learned of the result of this negotiation on Friday evening. I have been in considerable pain every since. (The pain!)

But I want to acknowledge that I am not the first or last person to be in pain at a House of Bishops meeting. (Oh, William!)

My own pain was sufficient enough that for 36 hours I felt the compelling urge to run, to flee.
The offer to be hosted at the Marketplace is a non-offer. That is already available to me. One workshop on one afternoon and being interviewed by the secular press was not anything I was seeking. I wasn't going to Lambeth to have another interview with the secular press. If interviewed at all, I want to talk with a theologian. I want to talk about the love of Christ. I want to talk about the God who saved me and redeemed me and continues to live in my life. I want to talk about the Jesus I know in my life.
Management knows that this offer is unacceptable! We have negotiated in good faith, and we will not settle for one satellite minute less than what we are entitled to! If management does not return to the table with a SERIOUS offer, the shop stewards bishops will have no alternative but to call out the workers.
But my mind boggles at the misperception that this is just about gay rights. It might be in another context, but in this context it is about God's love of all of God's children.
Because your invitations are handwritten by God, and I didn't get one, so it means that God doesn't love me.
It's a theological discussion, it's not a media show. I have been most disappointed in that my desire was to participate in Bible study and small groups, and that is not being offered. It makes me wonder: if we can't sit around a table and study the Bible together, what kind of communion do we have and what are we trying to save?
Because I have important ideas to share, valuable insights to bestow upon the world! Don't they realize what a travesty it is to discuss the Bible without my unique viewpoint to consider?
It has been a very difficult 48 hours sitting here and hearing your plans for Lambeth.
Not that I'm jealous or anything.
Some of you have indicated that if I am not invited, you won't go either. I want to say loud and clear - you must go. You must find your voice. And somehow you have to find my voice and the voices of all the gay and lesbian people in your diocese who, for now, don't have a voice in this setting. I'd much rather be talked to than talked about. But you must go and tell the stories of your people, faithful members of your flock who happen to be lesbian and gay.
Like I said, if they'd had the decency to invite ME, I'd have talked about Jesus and all that stuff. As I won't be there, you'll just have to hold the fort with talk about homosexuality. I know you can do it.
Maybe this is what God has in mind. I had hoped to focus on the community of bishops at Lambeth, making my own contribution to its deliberations. But now, I think I will go to Lambeth thinking about gay and lesbian people around the world who will be watching what happens there.
Yup, it'll be a strain, but I'll just have to shift gears and do something I really never thought I'd have to do - think about homosexuals.
I have nothing but respect and sympathy for the Archbishop of Canterbury and the difficult place he is in. I was trying to help him, and it just didn't work.
That prancing, prurient pile of perfidious prolixity! That hideous, hirsute heap of hypocrisy! That creeping, croaking, clunking clod of conservative capitulation! Oh, the pain, the pain...

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Antique said...

I'm reminded of Woody Alan's first film, "What's Up Tiger Lilly?" If you've never seen it, rent it. It's a Japanese 007-type film (originally done quite seriously for the Japanese audience). WA bought the rights and ripped out the soundtrack. Then he put English words in and turned the whole thing into a grand comedy.

There's a seen after a shootout, when all the bad guys are back at "criminal headquarters" to regroup and modify their plans:

Lacky #1: "I don't know why, but they gave you a better bandage than me."

Lacky #2: "Huh! You think THAT'S bad? First, they give me a swell bandage, then thy make me wear my coat over it so no one can see!"

Boss: "Will you two stop arguing? Look at me! I didn't get any bandage at all."

--

I've found it generally accurate to sum up +Robinson's public speaches this way:

"Me."

3:35 pm  
Anonymous Christopher Johnson said...

Or, as(I think) Dorothy Parker once put it, "Me! Whee!"

4:09 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Me! Whee! Me! Gee!"

I want to be clear than I am not here to whine.

"Me -- weeweewee!"

I learned of the result of this negotiation on Friday evening. I have been in considerable pain ever since.

"See me! Free me!"

My own pain was sufficient enough that for 36 hours I felt the compelling urge to run, to flee.

"Me flee!"

The offer to be hosted at the Marketplace is a non-offer. That is already available to me. One workshop on one afternoon and being interviewed by the secular press was not anything I was seeking. I wasn't going to Lambeth to have another interview with the secular press. If interviewed at all, I want to talk with a theologian. I want to talk about the love of Christ.

"Me! Glee!"

I want to talk about the God who saved me and redeemed me and continues to live in my life.

"Be Me -- Whee!"

10:17 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mabuse, posts like this are why I do continue to peruse your blog. Well written and damn hilarious.

Min

10:55 am  
Blogger Dr. Mabuse said...

I *do* remember 'What's Up Tiger Lilly?' - was that Woody Allan's first film? I must have seen it when it first came out on video - it was very funny. I remember one scene where the villain encounters a particularly flamboyant prostitute, and exclaims through gritted teeth, "What are you doing here, Mother?"

3:00 pm  

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