Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Al-Qaeda's new secret weapon

Desperate menopausal women.
A British woman has married a son of Osama bin Laden after a holiday romance and is to apply for a visa so that he can visit Britain, The Times has learnt.

Jane Felix-Browne, a 51-year-old grandmother and parish councillor from Cheshire, has until now kept her marriage to Omar Ossama bin Laden, 27, secret from everyone apart from her immediate family and close friends. But she has now agreed to speak about her relationship with bin Laden’s fourth eldest son.
I'm praying...I'm praying that when they say "parish", they're referring to some municipal jurisdiction, like they have in Louisiana. NOT a Church of England parish. I'd like to salvage SOME respect for the CoE.
“I just married the man I met and fell in love with – to me he is just Omar,” she said. “I hope that people will take a step back and think what it was like when they fell in love. He is the most beautiful person I have ever met. His heart is pure, he is pious, quiet, a true gentleman, and he is my best friend.”
She forgot to mention that he's "soft-spoken" - that's always included in the typical Islamist resume. But as Omar is husband number 6 for Jane, perhaps she's starting to mix them up.
Omar bin Laden left Saudi Arabia as a child when his father was expelled for his extremist beliefs, his wife said. Living in exile in Sudan and then Afghanistan, he saw at first hand the creation of al-Qaeda and its techniques. Mrs Felix-Browne said: “I never had any problem with his past. Omar did not do anything wrong. He was a child when he was in Afghanistan.”

She said that her husband left Afghanistan before the attacks on the US on September 11, 2001. However, some reports claim that he split from his father only after the attack on New York and an argument about tactics.

Mrs Felix-Browne insisted: “He last saw his father in 2000 when they were both in Afghanistan. He left his father because he did not feel it was right to fight or to be in an army. Omar was training to be a soldier and he was only 19.
A nineteen-year old child. Well, when you're 51, I guess 19 DOES seem a bit like a child.
“He told me he has had no contact with his father since the day he left him. He misses his father. Omar doesn’t know if it was his father who was responsible for the 9/11 attacks. I don’t think we will ever know.”
At least she's too old to reproduce. We don't need any more stupid genes floating around than we already have.
Now she hopes that Mr bin Laden will come to Britain. “He would like to spend quite a bit of time here,” she said. (I'll bet he would.)“There is no reason why he should not come to live, but I don’t think he would like the weather.”

Mrs Felix-Browne said that the couple hoped to use their position to help to heal the wounds caused by her father-in-law. “All we want is peace in this world and I will do all I can to promote it.”
I've got an idea - how about we give him a visa, but get rid of YOU. I wonder, does England still have Bills of Attainder?

16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dunno, Waffa Dufour is ok, IMHO. He might be a decent individual who had the misfortune to be born in particular circumstances (imagine how Timothy McVeigh's relatives must feel). If it's true he only left because he 'differed over tactics', of course that would be a different matter entirely.

8:57 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I of course meant, "Omar Osama Bin Laden might also be a decent individual ...". I'm an American OK? English isn't my forte.

9:21 am  
Blogger Dr. Mabuse said...

Oh, come on! He's NOT a decent individual. I focussed on her because she's such an obvious idiot, but what can we think about a man like this? He's marrying a woman twice his age he doesn't care a damn about, just so he can worm his way into Britain (and I suppose Wife #1 and the daughter would come along too). And yes, I am confident that he doesn't give a damn about her because he's a Saudi male, already married to a young woman - such men do NOT throw themselves away on old woman who can't even give them children. It's brutal but true - he comes from a brutal culture, and all this sappy LUUUUVVVVV stuff is in HER imagination. And he's letting her think that way, because he's using her. He'll discard her like a used kleenex as soon as he's gotten what he wants from her.

Oh, and just out of curiosity, who is Waffa Dufour?

9:36 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Waffa Dufour is Osama Bin Laden's niece. She's trying to make it into showbiz as a singer but is having difficulty because of being related to bin Laden (I believe Simon Cowell once said, "the only worse surname you could have is Hitler" before she changed her name). AFAICT she's a decent sane individual and is more to be pitied than blamed for the fact she's Bin Laden's niece.

I didn't realize Omar was already married with a kid. My gf is older, and I agree - if he's taking advantage of her, he's scum.

10:23 am  
Blogger Dr. Mabuse said...

Of course! I've heard of her. And she's very pretty, too.

10:52 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's 'Wafah', not 'Waffa'. Transliterated Arabic isn't my specialty either.

10:57 am  
Anonymous Little Gidding said...

Were they married in her parish church--or in any Anglican church?

11:22 am  
Anonymous Little Gidding said...

Maybe Reverend-Imam Redding married them before her collar was yanked for a year?

11:24 am  
Blogger Nicholodeon said...

Whoa!

'Married in a parish... ' Isn't there something going on in USA about a female cleric espousing Islam even though she presumes to function as a cleric in the Episcopal Ecclesial Community of the USA?

Ever since 9/11 I have been shy of anything smelling like 'Ossama bin Laden'.

You know the old saw: If it smells like sh-t, if it looks like sh-t, if it tastes like sh-t...duh...then it is sh-t so better not step in it.

Talking about the news out of Rome, I checked our service of Anathema which we perform every Sunday of Triumph of Orthodoxy...and yes, the prayers for deliverance from the Moslems, for the destruction of their way and for victory of the armies of Christ are still there!

Granted, these prayers were first composed and used when the Orthodox Church was under attack by the Moslems. Hmmm.

Don't let the Anglicans find out we still have these prayers and still use them! Hey, they are sung in Old Church Slavonic, so who would know, eh?

3:32 pm  
Blogger Kasia said...

Nicholodeon,

At risk of sounding condescending - though you seem to have a good enough sense of humor to get that I'm joking anyway - I suspect the Anglicans think you Orthodox are kind of a lost cause anyway. I mean, not only do you use Old Church Slavonic (just too, TOO quaint!), but you Orthodox are, you know, ORTHODOX! You're waaayyy too traditional. All that incense and chanting and venerating the crucifix and such.

We, on the other hand, have walked just far enough along the road to modernity to give them a sliver of hope that we just might get on board. (We're such teases!) ;-)

9:00 am  
Blogger xavier said...

Dr Mabuse:
What exactly is the bill of attainder?
Second, Isn't the marriage prima facie invalid due to the fact that Osama boy is already married? Yeah I know that Britian has been exceedingly lax about bigamy/polygyamy but even Braowwn will recognize the stupidity of the marriage.

Or the other other option is to let the guy in and then jail his butt immediately and maybe even extradite him to the States

xavier

10:51 am  
Blogger Dr. Mabuse said...

Bill of Attainder: Oh, that was a VERY severe and abusive measure that English kings would use to punish their enemies. It was a Bill, passed in Parliament, specifically declaring a person guilty of some crime, without the bother of a trial. They would be "tainted" with guilt, their rights nullified, and their property confiscated. They would be outlawed, by act of Parliament. Since it wasn't a law case, there was no appeal. A ruler could use this to "get" someone (usually a powerful noble) who wasn't vulnerable before the law, for various reasons - they might actually be innocent, or they might have so much influence that no court would convict them. I believe the U.S. Constitution specifically forbids laws of attainder, it was recognized as such a potentially tyrannical measure.

As for the validity of the marriage, since this is Muslim bigamy, I think the British would have to recognize it as valid. However, Canada reserves the right to deny immigration rights to spouses if it appears that the marriage was contracted solely for the purpose of sponsoring a spouse into the country. If it's a "marriage for hire", in other words. Maybe Britain can refuse a visa on those grounds. I hope so.

11:47 am  
Blogger Nicholodeon said...

Hi again
Kasia is right...we Orthodox are totally so into tradition but I think that's why I am totally so into Orthodoxy...

There was quite a flap a couple of years ago among us when it was proposed to interject the phrase 'by air' into the Great Litany in the petition 'For those who travel by land and by sea, let us pray to the Lord'.

To win the conservatives over, it was argued that 'by air' recognizes the existence of angels and other heavenly bodies; and for the rest of us, 'by air' recognizes the existence of airplanes, dirigibles, hot air balloons, and jets.

Of course, those of us with an impious streak could apply the term 'heavenly bodies' to persons like the late Betty Grable.

So now we are all happy and contented with the wind of liturgical reform that recently swept through the reverberating corridors of Orthodoxy.

For us Russian Orthodox, we are thankfully still praying for Orthodox tsars and tsaritsas in Slavonic, and in English this comes out as 'for all correctly worshipping kings and for pious queens'.

1:40 pm  
Blogger Dr. Mabuse said...

Oh, Nick, you Orthodox are WAY behind the times! I remember many years ago, in my old Anglo-Catholic parish, hearing the rector add "and in outer space" to the prayer for those who travel.

2:07 pm  
Blogger Min O'Pause said...

"Oh, Nick, you Orthodox are WAY behind the times! I remember many years ago, in my old Anglo-Catholic parish, hearing the rector add "and in outer space" to the prayer for those who travel."

OMG, that is funny...

Min

2:58 pm  
Blogger xavier said...

Dr Mabuse:
Here's an interesting tidbit about granny. It seems that she was seeking treatment for multiple sclerosis in Egypt(!)
So the marriage becomes far more ulterior that I previously thought. I'd assumed that she was a dotty Brit who pulled a Gertrude Stein; however, it appeears that Osama boy might've targeted her because she's so vulnerable and will eventually die from the disease.

Thanks for the bill of attainder. I'm sure that there are other ways to deny visa entry. I'd invalidate the marriage just by the fact that it's bin Laden's boy and that constitute a national security threat and permanently banned from entering the country. I'd also add the proviso that if Osmam boy shows up in Britian or other possession (aka Gibralter) in defiance of teh prohibition order he be shot on sight ('cause ya know that Arab Moslem's ego can't resist defying the kaffir)

xavier

xavier

4:06 am  

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