Saturday, April 21, 2007

Welcome to Appalachia

I was raking up little pinecones from the front yard when Dean came over smugly, having finished surveying his latest haul of driftwood from the river (currently draped over the front porch).

Dean: Say, maybe we should just LEAVE all that wood in the front - like an art exhibit?
Me: No, I think you should REMOVE all that wood as soon as possible, since there's hardly any room to move around on that porch by now!
Dean: (mildly) My, that was a very prompt and well-formulated answer!
Me: Yes, almost as if I'd been thinking it for quite a long time.

Later in the day;

Me (looking out the front window): Well, the front lawn sure looks better now that I've swept up all those pinecones and dead leaves.
Dean: Yes, I think the front of the house is pretty well finished now (ostentatiously avoiding my eye)
Me: (after missing a beat or two, to process this comment) What? No! You get that wood moved!
Dean: (looking out the window) Why, I can't see the wood for the trees! HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!
(Exit, pursued by a slow burn)


Blogger Nicholodeon said...

Sounds like Dean is barking up the wrong tree. He is really going out on a limb with the driftwood junk. Leaf it to Doc to get upset about it...I think I will bough out of this domestic squabble.

7:45 pm  
Blogger Dr. Mabuse said...

Heheh - well, he cleared out almost all of that wood today and moved it to the side of the house. This morning, it was so warm, I went to sit outside on the porch to read a newspaper article, but as it was such a nice morning, there were an unusual number of people out WALKING at 6:00 AM. And as they walked past our house, they...looked at me. I finally became self-conscious, sitting out there on a shabby old rocking chair, beside a huge heap of sticks. My copy of "White Trash Cooking" came uncomfortably to mind, and I had to retreat indoors.

9:09 pm  
Blogger Kasia said...

Is it so wrong that I mentally cued the music from Deliverance?...

In fairness, Dean sounds like a great guy. But what's with the driftwood? Does he *do* anything with it, or does he just enjoy collecting it?

8:58 am  
Blogger Dr. Mabuse said...

Oh, he saws it up into smaller pieces and we burn it in the winter. He just saves the most unusual pieces, which really are worth looking at. We still have over a cord of driftwood from LAST year that I didn't burn, even though I made quite an effort to get through the old stuff this past winter. But it just makes room for a new year's supply. Driftwood actually burns very cleanly; the bark is usually all stripped off (beavers, probably) and it dries out very quickly. It's quite useful; just the process of bringing it home is so unsightly!

10:50 am  

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